Dancing With You
by Bella Begood
Summary: Complete AU First time. Severus Snape has finally met the love of his life, but things aren't perfect. Harry is his enemy's son. Not only that, but Harry is in a wheelchair. PLEASE R&R! SSHP RLDM
1. Default Chapter

Dancing With You

Prologue: If You're Ever in California

It was probably the longest I've been in England in the past ten years; that alone speaks volumes about the man they were laying to rest. Albus Dumbledore had been my mentor when I was younger, and was the only reason I had turned out even half decent…though some would debate that.

The morning was gray and rainy, and a few dozen mourners braved the weather to come. It should have been more, I kept thinking scanning the crowd for faces I knew. Albus had helped so many, guided countless young lives, and this was all that deemed it important enough to come. To be fair, people did loose touch after Hogwarts. Some of them probably assumed that he had died years earlier. At one hundred and two, it was not shocking that he had passed, but it irked me that this pitiful rabble was all that showed up.

After the service, I began to walk to my car without speaking to a soul when a hand touched my shoulder. "Severus, I'm shocked that you wouldn't even say hello."

"Remus Lupin," I said without much emotion. The man before me was thin with light hair shadowed with gray. He was one of the few people I'd actually gotten along with in high school…or rather I had gotten along with him before he started seeing Sirius Black. "I didn't see you. Where's Black?"

Remus sighed and shook his head. "Damned if I know." A bitter smile turned his lips. "We've been apart for some years now."

I nodded slowly. "Why don't we go for a cup of coffee?"

I drove to a little place not far off, and we sat in a booth. "So what have you been doing with your life?"

"Not a damn thing worth talking about. I've been traveling mostly—trying to get my next book out. And you?" I ask hoping that he won't want details about my writing.

Remus smiled. I knew it was too much to wish for. "What do you right?"

"Novels," I said grudgingly and told him my pen name.

"That's you? I never would have believed it! You're my favorite author. Hmm...wait until I tell Harry."

I assumed Harry was his current lover and went on. "It's not something I like spreading around. People have this odd thing, thinking they know me just because they read my bloody books. "So where did you end up?"

"California. I've been living there for almost twenty years now. I have my restaurant and my home, and I rarely think of leaving."

"Ah, you always did love to entertain," I said feigning interest, saving my sarcasm for someone who deserved it.

Lupin glanced down at his watch. "I had better be going. I have to swing by the hotel and pick up my bags." He took a pen from his pocket and scrawled down his address and telephone number. "If you're ever in California, I'd like to see you again."

We said our goodbyes and I made my way back to my hotel. The piece of paper tucked in my pocket was already forgotten by the time Draco appeared on my doorstep late at night.

Draco's father and I were friends—or rather what could sometimes pass as friends, and the boy was my godson. Normally, Draco is one of the most impeccably groomed men I have ever seen. It always boggled my mind that his father still hadn't figured out where his tastes lied. Everywhere the boy went, a neon sign over his head flashed gay, but Lucius only saw what he wanted to see. 

Tonight, Draco was dressed in a simple t-shirt and jeans. His long blonde hair was hanging loosely, as though he hadn't even taken time to comb it. "I was hoping you'd be up," he said softly.

"Problems, Draco?" I asked. I generally don't give a fuck about people, but Draco has always annoyed me less than most. Out of respect for that, I owed it to him to listen.

"Blaise wants to meet my parents and be introduced as my boyfriend." At least he got to the point.

I groaned. "You're father won't like it. I don't think he's ever forgiven me for coming out—not that it matters. What do you intend to do?"

He shook his head. "That's it, I don't bloody well know. It's my father's wrath or my lover's abandonment, and I'm not sure which I'd rather take."

"Do you love him?"

Draco slumped down on my bed. No one ever saw Draco like this, only me. The Malfoy in him demanded that he be the picture of haughty disdain in front of the world. "How should I know? Sev, you write about all that shit, have you ever really been in love?"

"Not exactly. There have been people I cared about, but it wasn't love."

Understanding lights those cool gray eyes. "I guess that's what you could say I feel for Blaise."

I hand him a glass of red wine. "Since you're here you might as well have a drink with me."

He accepts the glass. "Thanks," he tells me before taking a sip. "Where are you off to next."

"I haven't a fucking clue. Tokyo maybe," I told him only half thinking. Wherever I was off to, it never really mattered. The only thing that mattered was that wherever I was, I wasn't home.


	2. Chapter 1: Screw Paris

Disclaimer—Don't own anything.

A/N- I forgot to add in my first post that this story is dedicated to my friend Dave.

Chapter 1:  
Screw Paris

I wish I could say that in the weeks after seeing Remus at the funeral that I didn't hesitate to renew our friendship, but I can't. I completely forgot about him, in fact. His address ended up shoved in one of my travel journals, and I didn't give it another thought. If that makes me selfish, then I guess I was. But the truth is that even in our school years Remus and I were never that close. Given my anti-social nature, it was amazing that I had even stuck up any conversation with him at all. No one who knows me well would consider it the least bit odd that I didn't think of him for months.

During that time, I was bouncing from city to city with no real rhyme or reason. I'd been doing it for years really. The idea is that I eventually find something in my travels that gets me writing again and then stay there until the inspiration is gone. I spent almost a year in Seville writing my last novel. This time around, I was frustrated because nothing seemed to get me going. For a rather unemotional man, I need a surprising amount of it around me to create characters, but everything just seemed so dead to me…even in Paris.

When I was younger, I loved the city. I left Hogwarts with no regrets, and came to France with only a second hand French dictionary and an idea for a story. Everything that happened next was pure magic. Not only did I get published, but my first book became a bestseller. In the twenty five years since, I've always come back when things were really bad. Needless to say, things were really bad, but I couldn't fix it with a stroll through the Latin Quarter and a day in the Louvre. After three days in my favorite suite, I hadn't written a damn thing. Now at this point in my career, I could have simply made a few phone calls and gotten some time off from things, but that wasn't the point. It was the first time in my life that I was completely incapable of writing a damned thing.

Sighing, I sat down on my bed and started to flick through some of my travel journals for ideas. I've never been one to believe in fate, but looking back, it seems odd to me that at that exact moment Remus' address would fall from the book. I picked it up with the thought that I hadn't been to the states for years…why not? I checked the time zones and wait until a safe hour to call.

A voice I didn't recognize answered on the other end. "Hello?"

"Hello. Is Remus in?"

"Sure. May I ask who's calling?"

"Severus Snape."

"Ok. Just hang of for a second while I go get him."

I waited what seemed an intolerably long time for Remus to pick up. Drumming my fingers on the desk, I began to wonder where he had to go to find him. Just when I was getting extremely irritated, Remus came on the line. "Severus, I was wondering if I'd hear from you again. How are you?"

"I'm fine. I was just wondering if I might be able to see for a bit next week."

"You're coming to California?"

"For a bit. I wanted to take a holiday from my latest work," I lied. There was no reason to let him know that I hadn't written a bloody thing.

"When does your plane arrive?" he asked. I could tell that he was looking forward to it. Remus always did enjoy people, and I never did understand that about him.

"Well, I haven't exactly gotten a ticket yet, or a hotel room?" I admitted.

He laughed. "Forgo the hotel. You can stay with us, but you might need the plane ticket."

The thought of staying with two lovers wasn't appealing. "No, I wouldn't want to impose."

"Nonsense," he said firmly. "We'd love to have you, and we're rarely home so you'd have all the space you could want."

"Fine, but if you want me out don't hesitate to say so."

"Agreed."

The next day, I was on a plane. The good thing about being wealthy is that I can afford to buy the seat next to me as well. In my opinion the only thing worse than the flying itself is being crammed in with complete strangers who feel obligated to make polite conversation for hours on end. The flight was blessedly peaceful, thank God, and it didn't seem that long before I was on the ground. I was met at the airport in LA by a chauffer and driven out to Remus' home.

Remus lived about an hour outside the city in a rather quiet little upscale suburb. I couldn't help thinking to myself that his restaurant must do very well to keep him in this kind of style, but then again anything Remus got he deserved. I know that his childhood was not exactly easy, nor did he have much given to him. He was always very secretive of his past and I never did ask why.

The Spanish style, ranch house we pulled up to was absolutely breathtaking. It sat majestically on the top of a hill with scenic gardens planted around it and a little courtyard in the center. I only vaguely noticed the ramps taking the place of the front steps. At the time, I was more in awe of how perfectly manicured the yard was.

Remus met me with a big smile on his face and open arms. "I'm so glad you come."

I nodded. "Thank you for allowing me to visit." I gestured to the house. "It seems you've done well for yourself."

"I have, but house isn't mine. It's Harry's. I only moved in after my break up with Sirius. Come in and I'll give you the grand tour."

I followed Remus through an eloquently furnished entry way and into a very large, open kitchen where a young man sat at a table reading a paper. He was beautiful. His hair was as black as night and stylishly disheveled. Wire rimmed glasses sat on a delicate nose, and his mouth was set intently. The only thing that could have been considered a flaw on his tanned face was slightly lighting shaped scar on his forehead. When he fixed emerald green eyes on me and smiled, I felt my stomach knot. Remus Lupin was a very lucky man.

"You must be Severus," Harry said with a very friendly tone. He offered his hand, and I thought it odd that he didn't stand to greet me.

Remus seemed to notice my reaction to him and very easily stepped in. "Severus, I'd like to introduce my God son, Harry…" I didn't catch the last name as I was more intent on the fact that he was not Remus' lover. 

"God son?" I asked still in shock. "I assumed he was your lover."

The young man threw back his head and laughed. His voice was smooth and enticing when he spoke. "You really must have gotten your wires crossed on that one."

Remus and I joined him at the table, and had no sooner struck up a good conversation when the phone rang. "I'll get it, Remy," Harry offered before wheeling himself out from the table.

I was absolutely speechless, and stared after him rudely. Remus cleared his throat. "I guess I should have explained things about Harry a bit more before you came."

I felt like an ass. To cover up my embarrassment, I simply switched from his disability to his relationship to Remus. "Well, I did think you had taken a very young lover."

Remus chuckled. "He's twenty-five, Severus, and I'm not that old. I'm surprised that you aren't more concerned with his parents."

"Parents?" I asked dumbly. In hindsight, if I had paid more attention, I wouldn't have been in that mess.

"Harry is James and Lily Potter's son."

"WHAT?"

He sighed heavily. "You really were a million miles away when I introduced you. Sirius and I raised him after James and Lily died."

I shook my head. "I didn't know. How did they die?"

"Car accident," he said sadly. "A drunk hit them when Harry was five."

"Is that how he..uh..is that the cause of his disability?" I asked.

"Yes, he took quite the hit to the head. It was a miracle he survived at all, let alone leads a fairly normal life. Listen, I don't want you to hold any of this against him. Harry is a good man. He has an enormous heart," Remus told me proudly.

Still out of my element, I just nodded.


	3. Chapter 2: Into Uncharted Territory

Chapter 2:  
Into Uncharted Territory

Harry wasn't home that night. He came back from his phone call and excused himself, laughing about something to do with someone named Ginny. I was in the guest room unpacking when I caught a glance of him lowering a ramp from his van. It just didn't seem right to me that someone so young and so vibrant was destined to spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair. 

Watching him, I could now see James Potter in his face, but those eyes were all Lily. It annoyed me that I didn't see it before. For all my loathing of Potter, I couldn't say that there was much of his personality in his son. The boy didn't have the arrogance or the mean spitefulness. To be the son of James and raised in a house with Sirius and not come out a complete ass was impressive. I guessed that he had Lily's genes and Remus' influence to thank for that miracle. Despite everything, I was intrigued.

I joined Remus in the kitchen for dinner. It still felt terribly early to me, because I had not yet gotten used to the time changes. I was not in the best of moods, but decided to at least try to be civil to my host.

Remus was dressed in loose fitting khakis and a button-down, blue shirt. Anyone could see why I had been so enamored with this man in our younger years. He always had been an extremely attractive man, but it had been a long time since I'd looked at him with lust. Dating Sirius had made me reconsider my attraction to him. Maybe if it weren't for Harry, I would have been interested in him again. He smiled at me. "You look tired. I know how annoying it is to get into the swing of things after traveling."

I took the glass of wine he offered and sat down. On table was a delicious looking fare. There was balsamic chicken and rosemary potatoes with asparagus and a strawberry topped spinach salad. "You've been busy," I commented.

He beamed. "Not really. I'm used to cooking for a crowd, so dinner for two isn't that much of a stretch for me."

I nodded. "Harry is missing out."

He laughed. "He gets tired of my cooking. When he was a boy, he used to beg me for boxed macaroni and cheese. Harry only got prepackaged food when I was away and it was up to Sirius to feed him."

"So then he's close to Black?"

Setting his fork down, Remus sighed and rolled his eyes. "Sirius was one of the worst things to happen to him, I think. He always wanted Harry to be James, and he most certainly isn't. It always hurt Harry when he failed Sirius, which of course Sirius let him know. Especially by not walking," he added bitterly.

"He actually blamed the boy for his handicap?" I asked incredulously. It was hard to believe that anyone could be that much of a bastard, but if anyone could be that low was Black. The man sickened me. He always had.

"I don't know how much of this I should be telling you, so I'd thank you not to repeat any of it," he told me. His usually jovial eyes were filled with regret. "Sirius took James' death hard. When the we were informed that we were to take custody of Harry, he didn't want him originally. The doctors told us that Harry's brain damage was severe and that he'd have to be taken care of for the rest of his life in a home. He didn't move and wasn't responsive to anything. Luckily, he was breathing on his own, but the future looked dim for him."

"That changed though, didn't it?"

"Yes, it did. We got a miracle. I was in his room one morning talking to him, when he looked at me and squeezed my hand. The doctors still warned us not to be too hopeful, but Sirius was determined that Harry would make a full recovery. He was always telling Harry about everything he and James did in their school years, and how they would do that together. It was heartbreaking when Harry finally realized that this was as good as he was going to get, and that it wasn't enough for Sirius." Remus played with the food on his plate. I'd lost my appetite as well.

I fiddled with the base of my wine glass. "I'm sure that wasn't helping your relationship either."

"No, it wasn't. We fought constantly. He was very jealous of how much attention I paid to Harry. Over time, he was away on 'business' more and more. I suspected he was cheating on me, but didn't have it in me to give a damn anymore. I was afraid that if I left him he wouldn't let me see Harry just for spite, or worse ship him off to his god awful relatives."

I sat there for a moment digesting all that I had been told. My hatred of Black deepened, something I hadn't been sure was even possible. Black and Potter tormented me mercilessly in school. Sadistic fuck that he was, Black tried to push me into a ravine my senior year. Remus and Potter pulled me back, but the damage was done and they were almost expelled for the stunt.

Giving up the pretense of eating, Remus began to clean up the meal. He put plastic wrap over a dish for Harry and excused himself to bed. I think our conversation upset him more than he would have ever admitted to me.

I spent the remainder of the evening sitting in recliner in front of the TV. The old adage "no matter how many channels you have, there's never anything on" definitely applied. Harry obviously had the sports package on his satellite dish. Finally, I settled on an old movie and dozed until I heard someone pull up the drive.

Harry rolled into the room with a smile on his face, despite his obvious exhaustion. "You're in my chair," he said. I raise a brow and moved to stand. "No, I was just teasing. It's the most comfortable spot in the whole house."

I glanced at the clock on the VCR flashing 2:13. "You're home late."

He laughed. "Don't start. I've only recently convinced Remy that I don't need a curfew anymore. Want a late night snack?"

In response my stomach growled. "Why not."

I followed him into the kitchen. This time around, I noticed all of the little innovations that were obviously intended to make things easier for him. The counter tops were lowered and had no cabinets under them. Everything was set up to be within his reach. The top shelves of his side-by-side refrigerator were bare. He rolled around easily maneuvering the chair.

"What looks good to you?" he asked sitting in front of the fridge. He inspected the wrapped plate and set it back down.

"Whatever you're having is fine by me," I said simply.

He pulled a frozen pizza out from underneath the vegetables, threw it in the oven, and then rummaged behind cans of soda to find two beers. He grinned impishly at me. "Don't tell Remy, or he'd have some kind of coronary."

"He did mention that you don't appreciate his cooking."

Harry's laughter was mesmerizing to me. The way it made his gorgeous green eyes sparkle made me feel things I hadn't thought about since I was sixteen. "Hey, I appreciate everything about the man, but you can only eat so many pieces of quiche before you want to throw it at him. I'm a very low maintenance guy; I like to eat simple food."

Pizza and beer never tasted so good as they did sitting facing Harry. We ate off of paper plates, and hid the evidence in the outside trash when we were finished. He yawned loudly. "I'm glad you're here, Severus. We'll have to do that again sometime."

I watched him push himself down the hall with a bemused expression on my face. When the door clicked shut, I hurried to my room and pulled out my notebook computer. Words were flying from me. Something in me had sparked and I could right again. This time, it had nothing to do with a Parisian skyline or Sicilian sunset. This was beyond anything I had ever known.


	4. Chapter 3: Deep Inside of You

OK, I admit Sev is VERY OOC, but I did warn you about that. Schan asked where I got my version of him from and I don't know. My Harry comes from personal experiences sorta but Sev is just kind of made up. Also, I need a beta…any volunteers? The person I thought could do it is too busy and I need to find someone else. If you're interested email me at bittybellabegood at Aol dot com

Chapter 3:  
Deep Inside of You

I wrote that night until I crashed into a heap on the bed at about seven in the morning. Somehow, I felt more content than I had in a long time. In that night alone, I had written a full chapter of a new book. The feeling was of accomplishment was beyond anything I had known as an author in years.

Several hours later, I awoke to find the house empty. Remus must be at his restaurant, I thought. And I hadn't a clue where Harry went during the day. I found a note on the fridge:

Severus,  
I'm sorry I had to leave you. There was an emergency at the restaurant and I didn't want to wake you. I might be late, but Harry should be home from work before six. Help yourself to anything you need. And again, I apologize for being such a poor host.  
Yours always,  
Remus

I set the paper aside and glanced at the clock. It was already close to four. I hadn't realized that I had slept that long.

Once again, my notebook was calling to me, and I got myself a cup of coffee and a bite to eat before going back to work. I found myself out by the pool under a patio umbrella. It was amazing to me that I had done so much after my chat with Harry. There was just something about the man that made me feel more alive than I had in years. The frightening part was that I liked it.

I hadn't been writing long when Harry came out the glass door behind me. "I thought you were taking a break from that," he said pointing to the screen.

"Yes, well it seems that isn't an option," I replied. I couldn't help but study him in his suit. He looked so different in the charcoal gray pants and jacket with a white shirt and a tie. "Just off work?"

He nodded. "From one job to the other really. I work as the athletics director and basketball coach at Franklin High, and then I also run a sports program for under privileged kids in the evening."

"Busy man."

That smile was driving me insane. "I do what I love, so I don't mind."

I set my computer aside. "It surprises me that you're this enthusiastic for sports."

"People assume that if you're in a wheelchair you should only do safe, calm things, but that's not true. Kids with disabilities love to play just like any other children, but they don't have the opportunities. Luckily, I was able to get into adaptive sports in the area. Now, I enjoy working with children who are enthusiastic about playing," he explained. "I was actually going to see if you wanted to ride down to the center with me. It should be a quick trip, and we could sneak fast food before Remus gets home."

I nodded. "Let me save and I'm ready."

"I still have to change," he said indicating the suit. "I don't think I'm dressed to play."

"I'm not much for children," I told him. In truth, I hate children. I taught high school chemistry for a few years before I made enough on my books, and the little bastards drove me nuts.

He grinned. "Don't worry this won't take long. It's just something I promised the kids."

"Oh?"

"It's tradition," he added.

He drove us to the center on the outskirts of LA. It was a rather impressive brick building with soccer and baseball fields beside it. A red headed woman ran around the bases carrying a small girl as we pulled up. "We had a small directional problem," she said with a laugh.

The little girl giggled and held her arms out to Harry. "I wanna wide!"

He put the squealing girl on his lap. "Severus, I'd like you to meet Ginny Weasley and Kiki. Ginny's one of our group leaders and Kiki is one of our favorite kids. This is Severus Snape, he's visiting Remus and I."

Ginny held out her hand and gave me a friendly smile. "Nice to meet you."

I took her hand and nodded. "Nice to meet you, too." She turned back to Harry. "You ready for the big game, Potter?"

Harry laughed. "Hey, I'm only the ref. You get your teams ready. Where is Ron's group anyway?"

"The gym. I think he's trying to get ready for his humiliation." She grinned.

Harry laughed. "This is going to be interesting either way."

"Well, I've got to go back to the kids," she said glancing back to the game.

Kiki looked up at Harry. "Can I stay with you?"

"Sure, Kiki, but you'll miss the game. I'm going in and doing boring stuff. Do you still want to come?" he asked. The girl nodded and he said to Ginny, "I guess I have a passenger."

"See ya, Gin," he said as he rolled off.

I followed him into the brick building. To my surprise it was amazingly well equipped. There were several rooms with different types of sports set ups, even an indoor pool. 

"How did you end up here?" I asked.

"I bought the land about three years ago and we got moved in two years ago."

"YOU financed all this?" I just couldn't believe that he could possibly afford anything this extreme. The property alone was worth millions.

"I financed most of it," he corrected. "There were a number of other contributors that got it built, and more that help me keep it running. I figured that this was the best way to spend what my parents left me."

The child in his lap seemed content to play with his shirt collar as we toured the grounds. I counted at least six groups of kids. "How many people do you employ?"

"Only four. Ginny and her brother Ron really keep this place going as the administrators. We also have a dietician to teach the kids about good eating habits and a counselor that's available to the kids who need her help. Other than that, we have twenty eight full and part time volunteers who do everything from maintenance to helping with snacks to doing fundraising."

The last stop on the tour was the large open gym where a red haired man in a wheelchair was shooting hoops with some children. Harry set Kiki down. "Go ask Ron if he's ready to play."

She ran off giggling.

"So what is this big game?" I asked.

He grinned. "It's the second annual 'I Dare You To' Basketball tournament. Each group has a team and the losing team's coach has to do a dare. Tonight it's the "Weasley Kings" versus "Ginny's Genies." If the Genies win it Ron has to dress up like tooth fairy and if the Kings win it Ginny has to eat a live worm."

"I'm sure the kids enjoy it."

"They do."

A basketball flew toward Harry and he caught it easily. "You'd better not cheat," Ron said as he joined us.

"Me? Cheat? Never." 

Introductions were made and no sooner had I shook his hand than the room swarmed with children. There were kids ranging from around six to about sixteen of all races running through the doors. I had to hide my discomfort as they began to fill into the bleachers. 

"Game time," Harry said as he rolled to the center of the floor. He blew a whistle and the game began. The Kings put up a valiant effort, but were ultimately beaten by the Genies, but there were no long faces as Ron came out of the locker room with a pink tutu and glittery wings on. It was a sight I hope never to see again, but it seemed there was happiness everywhere in the center.

True to his word, we left right after the game. Polaroid's in hand, Ginny and the kids waved goodbye when we pulled out the drive. I was still impressed by what I had seen. Never would I want to do it, but it seemed right that someone had. I noted the shabbiness of some of the kids' clothing. He had said that they came from poorer backgrounds. And some of the other children had disabilities. I wondered what would happen to them if no one had taken the interest in them that Harry and the Weasley's had. Probably nothing good. 

"What's your poison tonight?" he asked as we pulled into a small plaza with several restaurants.

"You do realize that it's been years since I ate at places like this," I told him.

"Something a little nicer then." He pulled out of the plaza and drove a little farther to an Italian restaurant a few minutes away.

The hostess who seated us looked nervously at Harry. "Any special seating?" she asked with a fake smile.

"A table by the window would be nice, and I'd appreciate it if you'd take a chair away." He obviously wasn't above using her discomfort to get the best table in the house.  
"Wine?" he asked as he looked over the menu.

I nodded and gave my order to a young waiter. "I thought this wasn't your type of place."

"But it's yours, and I did drag you to the center." There was something in those green eyes that I hadn't expected. Something told me that he was just as attracted to me as I was to him, but then again maybe I'd imagined it. I was being presumptuous again in assuming he was gay, just as I had when I thought he was Remus' lover.

"I'll consider it even then," I said looking intently out the window.

After dinner we went back to his home and found Remus sound asleep on the couch fully clothed. Harry touched his shoulder gently and smiled at his god father. A bleary eyed Remus sat up and looked at us. "What time is it?"

"Not late. You're just old," Harry teased.

"Old am? I'll remember that when you're all of forty." Remus drug a hand through his hair.

"Who are you trying to fool? Didn't you tell that guy at the restaurant last week that you were forty-two?"

"Brat," he said good-naturedly in typical Remus fashion.

Harry and Remus both excused themselves to bed, and I was not yet tired. My sleep schedule hasn't been anything close to normal in years. I found myself in the bathroom staring into the mirror. I am not, nor have I ever been a handsome man. My skin is pale and my nose to large. I have black eyes and hair, which sometimes appears a bit oily. Light hints of wrinkles appeared at the corners of my eyes a few years back. Harry couldn't possibly be attracted to me.

When I compared the two of us, the idea became even more laughable. Harry was vibrant and kind, while I am known for being blasé and somewhat moody. He structured his life around his children, while I lived only for myself. And then of course there was the fact that the man was beautiful. I didn't even see the chair when I looked at him anymore. Somewhere in those two short days that had stop mattering. I sighed. The idea of a relationship between us was preposterous


	5. Chapter 4: On My Way Down

Chapter 4: On My Way Down

I rarely saw Harry over the next few days. When I did, he was always on his way somewhere. Remus hadn't been joking when he told me that they weren't home much. The two of them had a routine that had obviously been going on for quite a while. On Tuesday morning, I woke to a knock on my door.

"Are you awake in there?" Remus asked.

I muttered a curse under my breath and said, "I'll be out in a minute."

"No rush, I was wondering if you'd like to come to the restaurant with me?" 

"Alright," I agreed groggily. Most nights, I had been up until the early morning.

By the time I emerged from my room, Remus was sitting at the table reading over his appointments on his palm pilot. He smiled at me. "I'm sorry that I haven't exactly been the best of hosts."

"You did precisely what I wanted you to do. I was looking for a bit of tranquility," I reminded him. 

"Yes, well then I won't worry about it anymore." He laughed. "Harry did tell me that you seemed rather content to sit and write."

"I am."

"Another bestseller in the making?"

It has long been a pet peeve of mine when people as about a work in progress. They don't seem to understand that I won't share anything until I am damn well ready. Normally, I would have told him to go to hell, but I was not inclined to insult my host and my friend. "It is what it is," I told him vaguely.

He left it at that and we were soon off the restaurant. Zora's was an upscale escape for many wealthy diners. The entire building was decorated in a very old style Hollywood motif. It was easy to picture Clark Gable or Katherine Mansfield walking down the ornate grand staircase. The cuisine, however, was more modern. Remus explained that they specialized in infusing traditional ethnic dishes from around the world with modern twists. 

He took me back into the kitchen where the preparations were being made for the day. A stout woman with dark hair and eyes was mixing a thick batter of some kind. "Remy, we didn't get our berry shipment yet," she said blandly. "I thought you talked to him last week about this."

Remus sighed heavily. "I did, but I'll do it again. Ellen, this is Severus Snape. He's been staying with Harry and I. Severus, I'd like you to meet Ellen Carter, the best pastry chef I've ever met."

She shot Remus a look that said bull shit, and nodded toward me. "Have you had breakfast yet?" she asked.

"No, but I wouldn't want to trouble you."

Ellen let out an unladylike snort. "I'll have some crepes for in a little bit. There would be strawberries for on top if someone had taken care of things."

"I've been duly chastised, Ellen," Remus said. "We'll be in the main dining hall."

"Charming woman," I murmured sarcastically on our way out.

Remus merely shrugged. "I wasn't lying when I told you she was the best. She's been here for eleven years, and never once have I seen her off kilter in that kitchen. The food critics call her deserts the best in town. I wish I had such luck with head chefs. Our last one quit. That's why I've been away so much," he explained.

"You take over?"

"Only in an absolute bind. I don't have the talent for it. My place is on the floor."

Within minutes, a white clad young man came toward us with a look of absolute concentration on his face. He set the plate down before me, and I could almost see the relief in him. 

Remus smiled at him and said, "Thank you, Neville."

He waited until the man was gone to tell me, "Neville is famous for making a mess of things."

I eyed the citrus topped crepes before me. "Then why do you keep him on?"

"He tries very hard."

Rolling my eyes, I pick up my fork and say nothing to that. In school, he was always befriending the misfits, myself included. I think he felt safer with us. Whatever it was that kept him from truly becoming a "marauder," as they called themselves, he would never take his frustrations out on others. I used to think that letting things slide the way he did was just as bad, but I did consider that he had demons of his own to deal with.

After my breakfast, I began to examine things more closely. I couldn't fault the taste in the décor. I had always preferred darker, more refined colors, so did Remus apparently. The woodwork had a deeper cherry stain accented by touches of gold leaf. Even the china had a dignified look to it. I stumbled room to room aimlessly as Remus sat making phone calls. Zora's was impressive, there was no doubting that. I crouched to examine the carving on the front of sideboard, when I heard a voice from behind me. "That's always been my favorite."

I turned to see Harry sitting behind me with a grin. "I thought you had to work today."

He shrugged. "There are only two days left, and no more sporting events. Most of what I'm doing now is ordering supplies for next year, so I can do a lot of it from my home computer. I thought I'd come mooch food off of Ellen. Did you meet her?"

"I did." Unfortunate as that may be, I added to myself.

Harry laughed. "Don't let her fool you. She's an angel."

"If you say so."

Remus walked into the room with frustration in his eyes, and a death grip on his cell phone. "Come to beg?" he asked Harry with a twitch of his lips.

"Of course," he replied with an impish glimmer in his eyes. "Problems?"

Remy nodded. "It seems I'm going to have to be inhospitable yet again. I have to go pick up a load of berries. Would you mind riding back with Harry?"

Would I mind? Part of me was glad that neither of them seemed to suspect just how happy I was to spend time with him. "Not at all," I said without much emotion.

Remus said goodbye, and I followed Harry back to the kitchen again. This time Ellen's entire demeanor changed. What was it about this boy that enchanted everyone? The woman smiled. "Has he been starving you again?"

"Always, Elle. You're the only one who loves me," he told her with mock woe.

"Brat, I guess it's up to me too feed you. I made crepes for your friend here, does that sound good to you?" she asked with a laugh.

Harry wrinkled his nose. "Don't add to my agony."

"French toast then. I think there's some blueberry syrup left."

"Marry me, Elle?" he proposed dramatically.  
I nearly choked when I saw the affection in the old dragon's eyes. "You aren't man enough for me, little boy.

He clasped at his chest. "Elle, don't make me get down on my knees. You know how that hurts me!"

The laugh she let out could ALMOST be classified as girlish. "Fine, if you're not married by thirty we'll talk. Now get out of my kitchen!"

He grinned. "Thank you."

Back in the dining room, he rolled himself under a table and I took a seat beside him. "Have you considered politics?" I asked dryly.

"I don't have the patience for it."

That didn't seem right from what I had seen, but I wasn't about to argue. I was falling fast for this man. Everything about him enthralled me. It was easy to see how he could charm even the ogre in the kitchen.


	6. Chapter 5: Going Under

Is there anyone who would be willing to beta for me? My friend was supposed to but things came up. Email me at bitty bella begood at aol dot com (take out the spaces)if you're willing. PS my "sincere" appologies to anyone who hasn't figured out that this is SLASH. Rolls eyes.

Chapter 5: Going Under

Once we were back at the house, Harry excused himself to go change and I merely assumed that he would be leaving again as he had before. Instead, he came back out of his bedroom in a pair of swim trunks and a t-shirt with a towel in his lap. "Care for a swim?" he asked.

"I didn't bring anything for it," I replied. I loathe swimming pools. I always have. The smell of them, the disgusting feeling the chlorine leaves on my skin, and the memories of many sunburns have kept me out of them for sometime.

To my dismay, he didn't seem to take the hint, but rolled on into Remus' room. He came back holding out a pair of blue board shorts. "These should fit you."

Harry didn't wait for me to say anything. Stripping down, I muttered to myself the entire time. Luckily, I had thought to toss some sun block in bag. I rubbed some on, before stepping outside. My mouth nearly fell open when I saw Harry in the water. His strong tanned arms pulled him gracefully though the water. When he caught sight of me, he turned and floated on his back flashing me a brilliant smile. Perhaps swimming wouldn't be so bad after all. He laughed at me as I slowly dipped into the water. "Afraid to get your hair wet?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Do you have any idea how long it's been since I swam?"

"I'll bet Regan was in office," he teased. Not following American politics, I only had a vague idea of what he was insinuating.

"And you were in diapers," I replied.

He frowned. "You do know how to swim?"

"Yes, I know how to swim." With that I took a few powerful strokes toward the end of the pool. I nearly choked on vile pool water as I saw him blow past me with ease. How he could be so quick only using his arms, I wasn't sure. Yet I found it amazing to watch him glide through the water. I followed him for a few laps before I began to tire. "But apparently I am out of practice," I said standing in the middle of the pool.

"With that tan, I never have guessed you didn't live in the water." There was that look in his eyes again. It was unnerving and exciting at the same time. He reached out and placed a light hand on my shoulder. "I can't believe how fair you are."

"You mean deathly pale," I amended with a bitter laugh. I remembered how his father used to torment me about it calling me a vampire and anything else his pathetic little mind could conjure up.

Harry shook his head and ventured a bit closer. "It suits you."

Before I realized what I was doing, I pulled him to me and kissed him on the lips. I let go as it hit me that I had crossed the line, but he tightened his arms around me. Kissing Harry was like heaven. "Well, I suppose I won't have to ask if you're gay," I said.

He laughed. "No, I think that's been answered. And I don't have to ask if you're attracted to me."

"No, you don't."

We stayed in the water for a while longer. I was reluctant to take my eyes off of Harry. "You're quite the swimmer," I commented.

"I love the water. When I was a kid and I was upset, I'd always go for a swim," he told me.

"Why was that?"

He shrugged. "It's easy to forget that I am not like everyone else. I'm freer here. My legs don't really matter."

I nodded slowly. The idea of a release was not foreign to me. As a child, I'd read countless books in my room trying to ignore the hell I lived in. In the stories, I was disconnected from whatever hurt me. That was why I loved writing so much. It was the ultimate release for the things that still haunted me.

"We should get out." He held up a wrinkled hand, and swam to side of the pool and pulled himself up.

As he hoisted himself up into his waiting chair, I got my first good look at his legs. In the water I'd been too entranced by his arms to notice, and the rest of the time they had been covered. His legs looked like they belonged to someone else's body. They were fragile, bone thin, and several shades paler than the rest of him. He seemed to notice my shock, and wrapped a second towel around them. "Pretty gross, I know," he said

"No," I denied. I couldn't tell him that I didn't think he was gross at all, but that I saw him as breakable.

He shrugged. "That's what happens to muscles you don't used."

I got out of the pool, and began to dry off. The center of my back stung slightly.

"God, Severus, weren't you wearing sun block?" Remy gasped from the porch. I had been too deep in thought to notice him.

"I had some on, but it seems I missed a spot."

Harry giggled beside me. "You should have let me take care of that," he said softly.

Remus frowned. "You should have taken the phone out with you. Ginny's been ringing mine off the bloody hook over Saturday night."

Harry rolled his eyes. "I told her to find a date and leave me out of it."

I raised an eyebrow. "Saturday night?"

"Didn't he tell you?" Remus looked appalled. "Harry, I thought you'd asked him already!"

"This Saturday there is going to be a banquet to raise money for the center. We reserved a table, if you'd like come along," he offered, but he seemed slightly off.

"I'll consider it," I told him.

He left Remus and I outside with some excuse about needing to drop by the center. The light haired man stared at me for a long moment. Somehow, I think he knew that Harry's mood was my fault. "What are your plans for the evening?" he asked avoiding the subject.

"I don't have any."

Remus smiled. "Why don't we go out tonight then?"

I shook my head. "I think I'll stay in and write a bit."

That evening, I stared at a blank screen for maybe an hour. It was still hard to believe that I had blown it that badly with Harry that afternoon. The clock on the wall told me what a fool I had been as I watched it tick by. I should have told him how beautiful I thought he was. Told him that it bothered me to think that he had to suffer at all. By eleven, I had settled into the chair in the living room once more, and sometime shortly after I fell asleep.

I woke to a hand on my shoulder. Green eyes peered at me. "You should get to bed," he said softly.

"Harry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it the way you think I did," I explained.

With a sigh, he leaned back. "You don't have anything to be sorry about."

"I do. Harry, I don't find anything about you gross, or even unattractive. It's just that you seem so strong that when I saw how fragile you are…"

"I am not fragile!" he interrupted. His eyes narrowed a bit. "Severus, I am not broken, or helpless, or delicate. Disabled, yes. Different, yes. I can't change who I am, but don't assume that I am anything less because I am in a chair. If you can't accept me as I am, and not assume things like that, then maybe you should find someone else."

I was more than a bit shocked by his outburst, but I respected him more for it. "I do accept you, but I've never really known anyone like you before. It's hard for me to know exactly how to go about things."

To my surprise, Harry laughed. "So let me be your crash lesson in Cripples 101. I'll let you in on a little secret…it's okay to ask questions. It's okay to acknowledge that I'm different."

"Oh you are different alright," I said mesmerized by the impish look in his eyes. Sitting on the couch, I was the exact same height as he was and I couldn't resist the urge to reach out and kiss him.

He gave me a lopsided grin and settled himself beside me on the sofa. We made out like two teenagers for the better part of an hour with hands drifting here and there. I wanted him so much, but it was too soon and there were things that I was unsure of just yet. In the end, we stretched out together with him in my arms. I hadn't realized how small he was until that moment, and I liked the feeling of holding him. Admittedly, I've never been one for cuddling, but this seemed right. I fell asleep like that.

In the morning, I opened my eyes just in time to see Remus cast a glance at the two of us and then stroll into the kitchen. I wondered if he approved. We did need to talk, but I wasn't about to wake Harry. He must have shared my thoughts because he said nothing before he left the house.

About that time, my foot went to sleep and I began to wiggle it in an effort to get it awake. "That tickles," Harry said groggily.

"I'm sorry," I said, and then it dawned on me. "You can feel that?"

"Of course I can. There is absolutely nothing wrong with my legs or my spinal cord. My brain just does send the right signals to them," he explained with a yawn.

"You can feel everything?" I asked uncomfortably.

He laughed. "If you're asking if I can have and enjoy sex the answer is yes. I thought you would have noticed something last night."

"I was trying desperately to be polite enough not to cross any more lines before the right moment."

"How'd that go?"

I snorted. "Terribly, brat. You make me want to strip you naked and fuck you right here."

"So why don't you?" he asked peering at me from under his lashes.

"Because I want to get this right." And I did. I wanted to make sure that everything was safe between us before I let go of it all. I wanted him to be sure that he would want me when he knew me.

He kissed my forehead. "Then I'm going to get up. I need to get moving."

I laid there for a few minutes after he had left. Harry Potter. Who would have guessed that I would fall so hard and fast for him? There was much to be done.


	7. Chapter 6: Bad TIming

Sorry this took so long. I had some things to take care of for a while, but I'm now a slave to my computer again.

Chapter 5: Bad Timing

It was mid morning when I finally decided to act on my instincts. All week, I had been debating on renting a condo for the duration of my stay, and after what had happened with Harry, it only seemed right. Something told me that it would be best if I pursued things when I wasn't living under the same roof as Harry and Remus. I made a few discreet phone calls to realtors, and made appointments for the next day to look at some places that met my specifications. My largest two requests being that it was wheelchair accessible and a pool. With that over with, I set to work on the next chapter.

Hours flew by, and in no time I heard a car in the drive. I smiled and went to the door to greet Harry. To my surprise, a very tired looking Remus stood there instead. Given his troubles at the restraint, I hadn't seen much of him. "Is Harry home?" he asked softly.

I shook my head. "No he isn't, and I suppose you and I have to talk."

"We do," he agreed.

We sat across from each other at the kitchen table avoiding eye contact for a long time before I decided to break the silence. "You want me to quit seeing him, don't you?"

Remus sighed. "I don't want to see him hurt, Severus. You have no idea how fragile he is."

I let out a snort. "He spent last night telling me how not true that assumption was."

"Well, it isn't merely an assumption on my part!" Standing, he began to put on a pot of coffee. "Harry puts up a good show of it, but there is a lot you don't know. There have been a series of people in his life who have gained his love and trust and then just abandoned him. Sirius did it, and then there was Oliver."

"Oliver?"

Remus nodded. "They were together for almost five years. He was the one who really got Harry involved in basketball. When Harry started playing, Oliver was the team captain, and somewhat of a role model for him. Time went on and they spent a lot of time together off the court. I think it broke Harry's heart when Oliver went to college, but then he was only fifteen and not open about being gay yet. They met up again when Oliver came back and started working at a local company. I've never seen Harry so deliriously happy."

"What went wrong?" I asked not entirely sure I wanted an answer.

"Oliver got a job out East. He didn't even bother telling Harry about it until after he had packed and put an add in the paper for the lease. To put it bluntly, he didn't give a fuck if he hurt Harry."

I shook my head. "I would never do that to him."

"Severus, you're notorious for globe-trotting. Do you honestly think you can stay in one place long enough for a relationship?"

"I think Harry is worth trying for." In all honesty, I couldn't promise Remus anymore than that. To say that I loved Harry would have been a lie—at that point, and it was impossible for me to promise that I would never hurt him. Who could tell what the future would bring?

I could see the inner war Remus was fighting. He wanted to tell me to bugger off and leave his God son alone, but he also respect Harry as a man with his own life. "Don't do anything stupid," he said finally. "Are you coming this Saturday? I suspect Harry has told you more about it."

"He hasn't said a word about it," I told him somewhat annoyed. "In fact, he doesn't seem overly joyous about attending himself."

Remus laughed. "He's not."

"And why is that?"

To my annoyance, he shook his head. "I've interfered enough."

"I suppose you have."

He looked as though he was about to speak when his phone rang. Digging the chirping device out of his briefcase, he rolled his eyes and answered. "Hello, Ginny…..I'm just in myself. I have no idea where he is…I'm sure that's fine….Have you asked Ron?...Really, Ginny, I don't know. He could be back soon, or out until midnight. I don't have bars on the windows….Yes, I realize how important this is….I'll tell him. Goodbye." In all my life, I have never seen anyone so relieved to hang up a phone.

"Does she do that often?" I asked mildly amused by his plight.

"Constantly. Harry stopped answering his phone when she calls for him, so she calls me instead."

"Why not ignore her?"

"Pity, I guess," he answered. "Harry seems to have caught her fancy, and she is so utterly hopeless about it."

"Does she realize that she's lacking a very important factor?"

He rolled his eyes. "She does. Seems to think she can change his mind. He helped her out of a bad situation, and that means something more than friendship in her opinion."

"He puts up with her because he feels sorry for her?"

"That and Ron is his best mate."

Remus and I spent a rather lazy evening in. We talked about everything but Harry. It seemed he was still uncomfortable with the idea. One thing was becoming more and more apparent; outside of work and Harry, Remus had no life of his own. Whatever social aspirations he had walked out the door with Sirius. It was a rare thing that I found someone with less contact with the world than I had.

Harry made his appearance just before diner, and barely caught Remus on his way to Zora's. He had a mischievous grin locked in place when the door shut behind his God father. "Did you miss me?"

"Intolerably," I told him with feigned disinterest. "Where were you?"

"School. I had a few things to catch up on. Care for a swim?"

"Later," I answered. "Your girlfriend was looking for you."

Harry cringed. "You mean Ginny?"

I nodded. "Remus says that she has quite the obsession."

"She's a good person, but she's…she's…fucked up."

"And yet you trust her with children," I quipped.

"Ginny is a little starved for attention. With six brothers, she kind of got left out a lot. To make things worse, Ron was always their mom's baby. She couldn't compete with her disabled brother and now she clings to all the wrong people."

"You're breaking my heart."

He shot me a glare. "And you would tell her off?"

"I would," I agreed. "I have very little patience with drama queens."

He shrugged. "I didn't think you would."

"Is she why you don't want to go to this thing on Saturday?"

Harry froze. "Partly."

"And the rest of it?"

"It's not me," he said. "I don't belong there. Fake people with fake intentions telling me how much they admire me for "overcoming my handicap" and for working with the kids that they want to forget exist. They dance, they eat a nice diner, and then they go home and forget that the center is there."

"I can understand that."

He smiled. "Well, you're going with me."

"I don't recall being asked."

"Doesn't matter. You'll go. If for no other reason than to protect me from Ginny," he added.

I leaned foreward and kissed him. It was awkward bending down, but we managed. I wanted nothing more than to scoop him up and carry him to bed. Lifting a hand to my check, he said, "Now, about that swim."

In a lot of ways, Harry was right about the water. It seemed to level the playing field a bit. Moving around freely was no longer an issue, and I could pull him to me whenever I wished…provided I could keep up with him. The little imp was quick. His arms more than made up for the lack of control in his legs. Even able bodied, it was hard to stay within reach of him.

When I gave up trying, he cornered me along the side, and slipped his hand down the front of my swim trunks. Moaning, I pulled him up against my erection. "You're killing me," rasped.

"Then why wait?" he asked.

Damn my sense of timing! I knew that I couldn't take him right there. Harry was special…and not in a degrading way. He was special because I actually cared to get to know him before I fucked his brains out. I sighed. "I want it to be right for both of us."

He nodded, yet I could tell he was disappointed. I pulled him to me and kissed him hard on the mouth, but that didn't take away the pain I saw in his eyes. "Let's get out," he said.

That night, I checked my email for word from my publisher. In bold letters there was: Subject: SOS From Dragon123. I swore. Whenever I heard from Draco, it was normally bad news. I read:

Sev,

I told Dad that I'm gay and he kicked me out. Not only that, he cut me off. I used what was left in my savings and got a hotel room, but I'm broke. Could you help me out? Could I stay with you for a bit?

Draco

Bloody fantastic, I thought. The last thing I needed was the little, blond prince in the equation. I sent him a reply that I would wire him some money to tide him over until I found a solution, and shut off the computer. Tonight wasn't good for my writing.


	8. Chapter 7: Any Way You Come

Chapter 7

I spent the next few days in a fog of complacency. With school out, Harry was home more, and we were together for most of the time. Either in the pool, or lying lazily on the oversized couch. He charmed me like no one ever had. Even Remy in his younger years wasn't this enticing, and—given that I had spent my youth dreaming of Remus—that was saying something.

I had never been one to stop at a kiss. If I found someone attractive, I fucked them and forgot them. The fact that I had kept things the way they were was proof of my infatuation, but I don't think Harry saw it that way. He would always get this look of rejection in his eyes. Despite his claims to understand, I could see that it hurt him. He thought that perhaps I was afraid to proceed because I found him lacking. The time we spent in the pool was always quickly followed with him covering his legs as fast as he could. It was disheartening to see, but I wasn't ready for more yet. Harry had broken more of my defenses than anyone ever had, and even that wasn't enough to take away my trepidation.

By Wednesday, I had a condo picked out and paid for. Though it wasn't readily wheelchair friendly, the realtor told me he would contact someone to at least build ramps to the front and back doors. What had really caught me about the place was the backyard. The pool was magnificent and had an adjoining hot tub, but the real eye catcher was a little rock garden and gazebo with a swing on it. I hired a decorator and gave him very specific directions and an nearly unlimited funds to furnish the place. This was the first time I had owned a home in almost a decade, and I was a bit anxious to be moved in. However, I hadn't told Harry or Remus about this yet. I couldn't imagine how.

Before I knew it, Saturday rolled around. My Armani suit was pressed and lying on my bed. I was even less enthusiastic about this little event than I had been a week before. Harry's intense dislike of the whole thing only made it worse, but I decided that I would at least put up a good front for the evening. I showered, shaved and pulled my hair back. Call me an old fool, but I still refused to cut my long, black hair. Once I dressed, I waited in the living room for Harry. Remus had decided to meet us there. Then I heard and odd, almost tapping sound. I looked to the hall and my mouth nearly dropped open.

Supported by metal crutches, Harry was standing there. I had no idea that he could walk, albeit with aid. He was still a lot shorter than me, and he looked extremely uncomfortable…not to mention odd. "Ready?" he asked with a grin.

I merely nodded.

"You can pick your jaw off the floor, Severus. I don't look that good," he teased.

"You do, but then again you always do." I couldn't resist kissing him like that. He leaned his weight on me and I barely had to bend down to touch his lips. It was definitely not what I had become used to with him. I wouldn't say that I liked it better though. I wasn't blind to the discomfort in his beautiful green eyes.

"We'd better go. I'd hate to be late for the banquet I put together."

We took his van, and I watched him forcibly bend his legs to sit properly in the driver's seat. I raised an eyebrow, and he lifted up his pant leg enough to show me the heavy braces beneath.

By the time we got there, Ginny was waiting in the foyer. She looked stunningly beautiful in an expensive black dress with her long, red hair styled on top of her head. Any straight man would have been drooling, but Harry wasn't straight…which I thanked God for that everyday. She fixed us both with a dazzling smile. "There you are! I thought we were going together."

Harry smiled back. "No, Ginny that was your plan. You look great."

"Thanks. So do you," she returned coyly. It made me want to break her pretty little neck.

I cleared my throat. "Shall we."

The ballroom was very elegant. Flowers and candles appointed the tables alongside fine china. White clad waiters hurried about with trays of champagne. The was probably costing Harry a fortune, but with the money that would come in at three hundred dollars a plate would do the center good. I recognized a few celebrities, but they weren't quite as amazing to me as the entire table of redheads sitting at the table beside ours.

I had never seen hair so bright, or a clan that huge. The mother and father looked to be about sixty, and their children ranged from mid thirties to early twenties. Ginny introduced them all as her family, and they all began to chatter on with Harry.

"Where are Ron and Hermione?" Harry asked.

"Probably where most newlyweds are," one of the twins said with a grin.

Mrs. Weasley smacked him. "Behave. We're in society."

I laughed at that remark. "How true."

She smiled at me. "And what do you do, Mr. Snape?"

"Nothing of importance," I replied. Have I mentioned how much I hate having this conversation?

Luckily, she ended it at that when she saw her son and daughter-in-law come in. "Ronald Weasley, you are late!"

The young man and his wife both flushed a bit. "Hermione takes forever to get ready, mum," he protested, but his wife looked like she had something different to say about that.

Ron and his wife joined us at our table. "You just had to show off," he whispered smugly to Harry.

"You look really uncomfortable," Hermione agreed.

"I'm fine. The only thing that isn't fine is at the table next to us," he grumbled.

"Well, you bought her the dress!" Hermione scolded him.

I froze. I couldn't believe that Harry would do something like that while trying to avoid the girl.

"I couldn't help it! She whined about how she wasn't going because she had nothing to wear. I couldn't have my associate director blowing this off."

Ron rolled his eyes, and I was apt to agree with that sentiment.

Remus barely made it in before the speeches began. First, Ron gave an overview of what the center did and what they wanted to do in the future, and then came a few community leaders. Harry was up last and he looked none to happy about it as he stood. By the time he made it to the podium, that had changed.

"I'd like to thank you all for coming," he began. "The fact that you're hear tells me that you are all open to helping the children. Helping the children is what is all about. When I first came up with the idea for a program like this, I thought that maybe I would be able to help a few kids have a better understanding of what it means to work together and to play. At best, I thought I would influence a few kids make good choices. I was wrong though; this center has a scope much wider than that. This is about children influencing each other. Sure, we have the facilities, and all of our staff love the kids, but they are the ones making the real difference. By building relationships and learning together, they are making a better future. Many of them consider this to be their family. I think it's time to extend that family. With your help, that's exactly what we intend to do."

The room filled with applause and people began to stand. I wasn't the only one who found him amazing. Watching him come back to the table, I wanted nothing more than to carry him off and make love to him.

After that, diner was served, and then the music began. Couples migrated to the dance floor. Strains of cool, romantic jazz filled the room. Uninvited, Ginny absconded an open chair at our table beside Harry.

"That was perfect," she told him as she leaned in to kiss his cheek.

"Thanks, Gin." Harry squirmed.

"And that's why I love you so much," she teased, but anyone could tell that it was only half in jest. It was also obvious that she had taken quite a few flukes of champagne from the passing trays.

Harry looked so flustered that I had to save him. "Would you do the honor of dancing with me, Ginny?" I asked.

The stupid girl beamed at. "I'd love to."

I shot a glance at Harry that told him exactly how much he owed me, before leading her to the floor. She couldn't dance to save her scrawny arse, but I wouldn't have enjoyed if even if she had.

I was ready to fall asleep standing when we finally made it back to Harry's. After stripping off my suit, I met him in the living room. He seemed relieved to be back in his chair. Cuddled up together, the evening seemed forgotten. "It's good to be home," he murmured. "My back is killing me."

"Is it that painful for you?" I asked.

He shrugged. "It can be after a while. I guess I just don't like it."

"Why not? I should think that you'd prefer walking."

He snorted, and I could tell that I'd said the wrong thing. "Why? Just so I can be at eye level with everyone else? There isn't any real advantage. I'm always uncomfortable in those braces. All they do is prop me up; they don't make me better. I'm a gimp either way. The chair gives me a lot more freedom." He stopped for a second. "Are you more attracted to me like that?"

"No," I assured him. "I like you any way you come. It doesn't matter to me if you are in the chair or standing."

He smiled. "I hope you stay here forever."

My conscience pricked. "Harry, there is something I should tell you."

He looked stricken. I could see Oliver Wood's influence written across his face. "You're leaving."

"In a manner of speaking. I bought a condo less than two miles away," I confessed. "Harry, I want to be with you, but staying here doesn't seem right."

"Why not? Am I not giving you enough space?"

"That's not it at all. Most couple meet, fall in love, and then move in together. We seem to have switched a step or two. Trust me when I tell you that I wouldn't have done this if I didn't care for you."

That made him relax some and before long, he was asleep. Staring at him, I wondered when I should tell him that Draco would be staying with me, but I didn't want to spoil his peace. Not now.


	9. Chapter 8: The British Are Coming!

Hey Everyone! Thank you soooooooooooooo much for the reviews. The more you review the more I want to keep things going for you. I am so happy that there is a positive reaction to this story! It's really important because I am in a wheelchair too, and parts of this story are semi-based on me. I was wondering how people would think of a disabled Harry who isn't needy or clingy. Hope this next chap doesn't disappoint.

Chapter 8: The British Are Coming!

It was little a less than a week after the banquet when I finally moved into my new home. Harry seemed please that I had made sure everything was in order for him to come over, only the stairs to the second floor posed a problem. I don't think he honestly believed me when I told him that the move was intended to build our relationship, not destroy it. When things became a little less strained, I thought that perhaps it was time I give the second half of my confession.

We were sitting in the hot tub together when I finally got up the courage. "Harry, I do have something else to tell you about." He raised an eyebrow and waited for me to finish. I told him all about Draco. How I had been friends with Lucius, and now felt somewhat sorry for his son. Lastly, I told him about Draco's disastrous coming out. "And that's why I've agreed to let him stay here until he gets some sort of bearing on what he wants from his life."

Part of me expected Harry to tell me exactly how against this whole thing he was, but instead he just smiled. "I understand. You need to help a friend. So when does he come in?"

"Two days from now," I replied, wholly relieved that he had taken it so well. "I'm planning on having a limo pick him up from the airport and bring him straight here."

He laughed. "That reminds me; are you ever going to get a license or just beg rides off of Remus and I?"

I had been toying with the idea for a while now, but the more steps I took towards permanent residency, the more I realized exactly how topsy-turvy my life was becoming. "Soon," I answered vaguely.

He nodded, and began to tell me about his new plans for the center. It was selfish, but part of me wished that he didn't put so much into the place. If he hadn't been so involved, I would have asked him to travel with me. Even as content as I was with Harry, the familiar scenery became more and more part of what I had been avoiding my whole adult life. Being stuck, being stagnant that was my greatest fear. I didn't understand how people could plunge themselves into one area and be happy with it. Traveling was freedom, and I was still afraid to give that up entirely.

The morning that Draco was set to fly in, Harry and I made plans to meet at a small café down the street from my condo. That would give Harry long enough to finish the week's planning with Ron, and Draco enough time to get settled. We'd been there many times, and I thought that Draco might appreciate the place. It was nearly eleven when the limo pulled in the drive, and I watched the young man step out. He seemed to be taking the place in from behind his shades. I could tell that he was still deciding what he thought of it.

"You made it," I called from my front porch.

He smiled. "Barely, with all that bloody airport security. Now where is he?"

I grimaced, as I hadn't told Draco anything at all about Harry. "What makes you think there is someone?"

"You bought a house, Snape, that practically screams it out," he told me dryly. The boy was no fool, which was precisely why I had been able to stand him all these years.

"You'll meet Harry soon enough."

"Harry?" he asked with eyebrows raised. "Such a common name."

I rolled my eyes. "I assure you, he is an uncommon young man."

"Young?"

Letting out an exasperated sigh, I motioned for him to follow me in.

I showed him around my home. Though he had been taken down a notch by his father, he was still a Malfoy through and through. This—though spacious and posh by most standards—was not the mansion that he had grown up in. His spoiled nature made him almost impossible to please. He was the proverbial unhappy, little rich boy. The contrast between him and Harry was startling, though they were the same age. Draco had never done anything for himself, nor had to work through anything. I simply hoped that he could figure things out on his own, and do it fast.

By the time we made it to the café, Ron was just leaving. He gave a nod to me as he wheeled himself out of the room. I spotted Harry seated in our usual spot with a cell phone at his ear. "A business man," Draco whispered to me teasingly. Before I had time to tell him anything, he had seated himself beside Harry without another word.

Harry hung up and offered his hand to the blonde. "You must be Draco. I've heard a lot about you from Severus," he lied with a congenial smile.

"Ah, Severus has been rather tight lipped about you." He flashed Harry a flirtatious smile. "I think he's afraid of losing you."

Harry gave me one of his gorgeous stares, and said, "He never does have to worry about that."

Lunch seemed to be going well for the most part. Draco's annoyingly outgoing personality didn't leave much room for silence. Then, he made a blunder that would mar the entire day.

Draco took a sip of his water. "I do have to say that I give you credit for doing business with that poor man."

Harry looked confused. "Poor man?"

"The cripple. I always feel so bad for people like that. They never really do seem to make it far in life," he said. I hadn't realized until then that Draco had made the same exact assumption that I had when I met Harry.

Choking on my salad, I finally managed to find my voice. "Um…Draco…."

Harry cut me off. He looked hurt that I hadn't said anything to Draco prior to this meeting, and now I knew it was far too late to save it. "You don't think disabled people are capable of living full, successful lives?"

Draco gave a disdainful little laugh. "Really. What kind of life can you have sitting a chair all day? I really pity whoever takes care of the poor sod."

There was a long silence. When Harry finally did say something, his voice was low. "I'll have you know that is a very happily married man. His wife doesn't need to take care of him. He is also one of the best men I have ever known. Ron lives his life with every bit as much dignity as anyone else. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to the center."

With that, Harry wheeled himself away from the table, and met Draco's shocked eyes with an even glare. I followed Harry out, leaving the stunned man alone. "I'm sorry," I said once we were alone. "I didn't have a chance to tell him before….shit, what I mean is that I really didn't…"

"Don't make excuses. He's a pompous ass. At least, I know how he feels," he said with a sigh.

"Harry, can you forgive me for this?"

He shrugged. "I'm used to this sort of stupid assumption. If people don't say it, that doesn't mean they aren't thinking it."

"Please don't tell me that you're going to let that little prat ruin what we've got," I said rubbing my temples. I wanted nothing more than to beat the bloody moron senseless.

"You're well worth putting up with him for."

I bent down and kissed him full on the mouth. "Good. Are you coming back in now?"

He shook his head. "I really do have to get back. Why don't you two come out tomorrow night for dinner? We can cook out and have a nice evening? I'll even invite the Weasleys and we can all get to know him a little better. Maybe he won't be so bad once he realizes he was wrong?"

I rolled my eyes. "Are you sure you want to do that?"

"Six o'clock," he told me.

I went back into the café with a little less anger than I had left with. In Draco's defense, he did look remotely guilty—which is the equivalent of utterly remorseful in most other people. He barely acknowledged me when I sat, and instead played with a fork full of spinach.

"Harry invited us to a cook out tomorrow evening," I told him nonchalantly. It was best to let the event go. Dwelling on it anymore would only make me want to ship him back across the Atlantic in a box.

"Oh? I'd thought he'd never want to see me again. But Gods, Severus, why didn't you tell me?" Apparently, Draco hadn't come tot the same conclusion.

I snorted. "It's stopped mattering to me. I didn't think to warn you about it until you were already hitting on him!"

"Well, I thought he was bloody gorgeous until I saw that…" Draco's voice trailed off, and I think he knew that he'd crossed over into my bad graces.

"Listen here, you little snot, he IS gorgeous! If you can't see him for who he is and not the chair, then I will buy you a ticket back to your Daddy. If you stay, you will treat him with respect and stop being such an ass. That young man has done something with his life and managed to make a positive change in the lives of others. What have you done besides live off Lucius and fuck pathetic fairies who only want your money? Harry is twice the man you will ever be," I said giving him my most smoldering glare.

Something I said must have connected, because he didn't say another word the entire evening. Perhaps I had been to harsh, but it didn't matter. If he would continue to make backhanded comments like that about the man that I was falling for, I wouldn't hold back any punches.


	10. Chapter 9: I Think I Love You

Hmmm…this is going to be my longest chap. I'm thinking about doing three or four more chaps. And do I smell a tad bit of citrus?….Just a tad. 

Chapter 9: I Think I Love You

The next morning, Draco sat unhappily at my kitchen table with a paper spread out in front of him. I did my best to ignore the git, but he was crumpling the pages so loudly that it was near impossible. Whether it was revenge, pouting, or his way of making me want to apologize, I didn't know nor did I care. I was still fuming from the day before.

A blue SUV pulled into the drive, and I watched as Remus got out with his usual smile in place. He looked quite tired, but that was nothing knew. The man worked himself to death. In fact, I was rather surprised that he had made it out at all. I met him on the porch, before he had a chance to encounter the snake at my table. "Good morning," he said happily.

"Good morning," I returned. "I take it you haven't seen your Godson?"

Remus nodded. "I have. You need to be more thick skinned about that sort of thing, Severus. Harry is different. He doesn't hide that fact. People are ignorant, but it doesn't mean that they are necessarily mean spirited."

"You don't know Draco," I retorted. "Malfoy through and through."

That got his intention. "As in Lucius?"

I nodded.

"I didn't know you still were involved with that viper. Your taste in friends never ceased to amaze me," he said shaking his head.

For an instant, old wounds began to sting again. "As if you've any right to talk! Your "friends" were the most spiteful pricks I've ever met. Sirius tried to kill me! Or have you forgotten? Have you forgotten how they humiliated everyone outside of their little circle? But then again you never had to worry. You were their lap dog from the beginning. Scraping and bowing to Black and Potter like they were gods! You never did grow a spine, did you Lupin?"

I never saw the blow coming. For an instant, my world spun. Remus had hit me! I stood there in shock for nearly a full minute, before I noticed the wetness in his eyes. He looked every bit the schoolboy he had been twenty-five years ago. "Don't you EVER assume you know why I called them my friends! They were not perfect. I can tell you Sirius's faults more than you can believe, but don't you EVER talk like that again! Without Sirius and James, I would have…."

He turned to walk away, but I knew this was not over. "No, Remy, tell me. I'm sorry, I didn't know. You would have what?"

"I would have finished the job."

It all came rushing back to me. I remembered that Remus had been sent away from school for a while. When he came back, his right arm was bandaged. Later, I saw the horrible scars. An accident, he claimed, but after that Sirius and James never left his side. Not long after, Sirius and Remus began spending a lot of time alone. I never did question what had brought them together, but now I knew. "You cut yourself," I said softly.

He nodded. "There are some things that even being a Marauder didn't save me from. I'm sorry I hit you. How is your face?"

I let my sneer returned. "It's a good thing Black never taught you how to fight. I'm sure young Miss Weasley packs more of a hit."

Remus laughed. "Not for lack of trying, I assure you."

With Remus smile back in place and only a slight red mark on my cheek, we went into the house. "What happened to you?" Draco asked innocently as I came in the room.

"Nothing," I said. I made introductions, and I could already see sparks of interest in Draco's eyes. It took all of my being to not warn him to stay away from the decent men.

Remus looked down at the paper sprawled out on the table. "Job hunting?"

Draco nodded. "Eventually I want to get a place of my own. I'll need some way to pay my bills."

"Have you ever waited tables?"

I let out my usual sarcastic snort, and watched the blonde's cheeks turn pink. "I've never had a job."

Remus seemed unfazed by this. "Well, I own a restaurant. If you're willing to put in the work and effort, I will hire you on a trial basis. That way if you find something else, or decide I'm an intolerable tyrant you can leave."

Draco's blush actually deepened. "I don't think I could ever think that about you."

Holding back my gag, I couldn't help but torment the boy. "I believe you already met Remus's son, Harry."

Remy shot me a glare, but remained happy sounding as he spoke. "Yes, Harry told me that you would be joining us this evening. We're also having over a few friends of ours. Are you familiar with the Weasleys?"

"I believe I saw one of them, but we were not properly introduced."

"They are an interesting bunch," I commented. "Are all of them attending tonight?"

Remus laughed. "All of them and their respective others. Though no one particularly cares for Fleur, Bill's wife. I will see you this evening."

"He seems…" Draco began.

"Seems what?" I asked. "Be a good boy, and leave him alone. Remus has had enough to deal with from bastards."

"Bastard, am I? At least I'm not a heartless son of a bitch like you and my dad!" he spat. "I loved Blaise! I thought I was doing the right thing coming out for him. My father kicked me out without even seeming like he gave a damn about me. I thought you were different!"

I raked a hand through my hair. The past day and a half had been way more dramatic than I liked. "If I was so damned heartless, you wouldn't be here. I'm just warning you that there will be none of your games, none of your insults while you're here. And do take care with Remus." That said, I went about the rest of my day with very little interaction with Draco. I think we had both said quite enough.

I sat at my computer screen feeling low for over an hour. Two of my main contentions had come into question. One, why hadn't I seen Remus's pain before this? The answer was simple: I hadn't wanted to. It was easier to assume that he had betrayed me by befriending the Marauders. Believing that there was no good in either boy had also been extremely easy. Sirius had nearly taken my life, but he had also stopped Remus from taking his own. And James…well, James had been the one to pull me back from the edge. I'd give him credit that he hadn't wanted me dead, even if he hated me. Secondly, Remus was right about Lucius. The man was about as evil as they came. He never had been my friend in all honesty. It was time to put all this to rest.

I made a sort of almost amends with Draco before leaving for Harry's. "You know, Draco, I don't mind if you wait a while to decide what you want to do. Don't think you have to get a job and move out right away."

He shrugged. "I you were right. I haven't done anything with my life; it's time I start. Besides, it'll give me time to win Remus over to our side."

"Our side?" I asked.

"He's straight isn't he? Though he isn't what I imagined Harry's father to look like."

I shook my head. "He's Harry's Godfather. Harry's real parents were killed in a car accident. Remus is as gay as you can get."

He flashed that Malfoy smile. "I'm glad you told me."

Harry picked us up in his van exactly on time. He was already out of his suit, and into a pair of jeans and t-shirt. If he felt any animosity toward Draco, he didn't show it outwardly. "I hope you're hungry. Between Remy and Molly Weasley, no one is getting out of this without gaining a few pounds."

Moments later, we found out that it was no exaggeration. Remus had managed to turn a simple cookout into a gourmet meal. There was enough food to feed the Weasley family four times over.

"I'm never going to remember all these names," Draco whispered to Remus just loud enough for me to hear.

"Don't worry," Remy assured him. "I'll help you out."

I shuddered to think that there could be something there.

It wasn't long before Harry and Ron got an impromptu basketball game going. Watching the two of them fly around the drive, it was easy to see that they had been working toward this for years. Despite their obvious handicaps, they were athletes. When they took on Ginny and Charlie, there was no real contest. Harry was sinking what seemed to be impossible shots. It did make me wonder, however; what would have been had that accident never happened? I remembered that James was a formidable rugby player. Would he have taken after his dad?

I did smile as I saw the awe on Draco's face as they whipped the second group of challengers, Fred and George. "They're very good," he said.

Molly beamed with pride. "They are. I never would have thought he'd be the ball player, when we brought him home."

"Was he always…?" Draco seemed to be searching for the most polite word.

Molly nodded. "He was born with cerebral palsy."

During dinner, Harry and his friends made every attempt to bring Draco into the group. They teased him every bit as much as they did each other. He seemed to take it all in stride, sometimes getting a shot in himself. He didn't do anything to spoil the night…he left that to Ginny.

I'm not sure what sparked her outburst, but Harry had been talking quietly to her for sometime when she cried, "You're fucking an old man, Harry! How is that better than being with me?"

Harry looked embarrassed. "Ginny, now isn't the time. I've told you; I'm gay."

"NO! I saw you staring at me at the banquet I know you love me!"

"Ginny!" Molly said appalled by her daughter's behavior. "Come on, let's take you home."

Ginny ignored her mother. "I love you! Don't I mean anything to you? You tell me all the time that I deserve a good man in my life, but aren't I good enough for you?"

"You're not man enough for him," I cut in. I was sick of listening to this girl's screeching. She looked at me as though I had stabbed her in the gut. Her large eyes were wide with pain, which soon hardened to hatred.

"Ginny, we're leaving," Arthur told her with his hand firmly on her arm.

"I'm so terribly sorry for all this," Molly apologized to us all.

One by one, everyone left the party. Ginny had killed whatever good humor there was in the group. Remus looked crestfallen as he began cleaning up, though he did perk up a bit when Draco offered to help with the dishes. Finally alone, Harry and I gathered up the trash.

"This is out of hand," Harry said sadly. "I never thought helping a friend could cause so much trouble. Molly told me earlier that Ginny's stopped taking her medication, and…"

"Medication?" I asked setting down the bag. Something told me I was finally going to hear the entire saga.

Harry looked away. "Ginny is bipolar. The girl is as sweet as can be and normal when she's medicated, and a fucking basket case when she's not. Her last boyfriend beat her pretty badly. We all warned her about Dean, but she didn't listen. Afterward, I helped her get her own apartment. I became her shoulder to cry on. Within a month she had taken the schoolgirl crush she'd had on me for years to a new and frightening level. I only wanted to help her."

"But how much can you help her when she isn't helping herself? And how much can you ignore? What if she takes her baggage to the center?" I was only echoing the thoughts that I knew he was having himself.

"I'm going to have to let her go. Ron and his family understand, but it's still going to be rough."

We finished our clean up in silence, but were greeted by laughter when we went in the house. Draco was practically glowing, and Remus looked considerably less tired than he had before. "I always wanted to be a chef," Draco said dreamily. The whole scene made my stomach turn. It was the kind of thing I wrote, true enough, but I never wanted to see it with this pair.

Remus leaned on the counter. "Why not go for it? There are a number of good culinary art schools around this area."

I cleared my throat. "Are you tired, Draco?"

I could tell he didn't want to leave, but he said nothing. Remus took care of it for him. "Why don't you stay a while? Harry can take Severus home, if he's ready and I'll take you back when you are tired?"

Draco nodded. "That'd be wonderful."

Harry made a gagging motion behind the pair and I nearly laughed out loud. I knew we weren't this bad.

Safe in my living room, Harry settled himself on the couch and slid his chair out of the way. I handed him a glass of wine. I had taken note of the wine he ordered with dinner at the Italian restaurant and bought a few bottles. Call me what you will, but I am observant. He must have still liked the stuff because he drained glass after glass. It only occurred to me that he had to drive home after half the bottle was gone. "You're a lush," I teased.

"I am not," he denied lamely. "But I don't think I want to drive."

"Oh, I know you aren't going anywhere, little one." I kissed his cheek. "You stay with me tonight."

I called Remus to tell him that Harry was staying with me. By the time I came back to the living room, Harry was snoring. Cradling him as gently as I could, I picked him up. He made only the slightest murmuring as he rested his head on my shoulder. I placed him in my bed and removed his glasses. Next, I took off my clothes, leaving only my boxer shorts. I knew that I would have to at least take off his pants, but I was loath to wake him. I had almost completed the task when I heard him mumble something. "Severus."

"You're in my bed. I'll sleep on the couch if you'd like."

He shook his head. "Stay. I want you. Why don't you want me?"

"You have no idea how badly I want you," I told him. "I won't take you while you're drunk."

I laid down beside him. Not to be deterred, his hands found their way to my cock. "Please, let me."

All I could do was moan as he positioned himself between my legs and began sucking. His tongue was amazing, but what really got me were those green eyes staring up at me. I knew I should stop this. Morally, it was just wrong to let him do this to me while he was drunk, but I couldn't help it. I had been so pent up for so long, and he was amazing. When he was finished, I pulled him up beside me and kissed him tasting myself there.

"I was staring at Ginny when you were dancing," he confessed.

Whether my brain was still addled by pleasure, or I wasn't connecting the dots, I had to ask, "why?"

"Because I was jealous. I hate feeling like that. Wishing that I was like everyone else, but she got to dance with you."

I kissed his forehead. This was the first and only time, I ever heard Harry say something self-pitying, and I wasn't entirely sure how to take it. "She's a terrible dancer," I told him for lack of anything else to say.

"I think I love you, Severus," he said groggily. Seconds later, he was snoring.


	11. Chapter 10: Heaven is Here

Chapter 10: Heaven is Here

The next morning found me earlier than I would have liked. I heard the door shut bellow and had a sinking suspicion that this was the first time Draco had made it in since last night. Gently disentangling myself from Harry, I threw on a robe and met the blonde in the kitchen. He looked like the cat that ate the canary. "Tell me that you didn't do anything stupid," I said grumpily.

Draco smiled. "I didn't. We talked all night. You have no idea how wonderful Remus is! I don't even mind that he's forty-eight."

I raised an eyebrow at the fact that Remus had actually been honest about his age. "I know Remus well enough, thank you."

"As if you've any right to judge! Harry can't be much older than I am," Draco said defensively.

"Age was the last thing I was thinking of when I showed my disapproval. Get some sleep."

I was irritated with the situation. Whether or not this little flirtation went anywhere, it did irk me that good, hard-working Remy saw something in the little prince. True, I still liked Draco more than I did most other people, but he wasn't exactly what you could call a good person. I'd known him to seduce a man and then leave him before the next dawn. He usually took what he wanted and left. Granted, I had a feeling that there was more involved with Blaise, but I wasn't ready to call Draco a saint in that whole mess either.

I decided to go back to bed. About half way up the stairs, I heard cussing coming from my room. I walked into my room to find Harry sitting up in bed rubbing a hand over his face. "Not a pleasant morning?" I asked.

"My head feels like I've been hit by a tank," he grumbled. "I take it you brought me up here?"

"Did I hurt you when I picked you up?" I asked anxiously.

He threw a pillow at me. "I am not going to break if you touch me! But do you know how long it's been since someone picked me up? It's kind of degrading."

I tossed the pillow back at him. "Would you prefer it if I let you get down yourself?" That earned me a glare. Being in no hurry at all to get him out of my bed, I sat down beside him. "Do you remember last night at all?"

"Nothing after drinking all that wine. Did I do something stupid?"

I shook my head and looked away. If he didn't remember it, did he still mean it? I wasn't inclined to ask. "Have somewhere to be today?"

"The center at three, but that's it." He leaned against me. "Planning on keeping me trapped here?" There was that mischievous look in his eyes again.

He had been drunk last night, but today I wanted to give him something to remember. It was my turn to return the favor he had given me the night before. When I kissed him hard on the mouth, he looked a slight bit shocked. Thus far, I had been the one stopping his advances, and now I was making one of my own. I worked my way all over his body eliciting all kinds of moans from him. When I finally reached my destination, he was ready for me. It had been years since I had given anyone this kind of pleasuring. With everyone else, I had been content to take, but now I wanted to give.

After he came, I was nearly bursting myself with anticipation.

I reached for the lube and a condom from my night table drawer. "Put this on me," I commanded into his ear.

He did what he was asked, and looked at me with such intense desire that it only made me want him more. I spread his legs and pulled him to me, all the while watching for signs that I was hurting him, but all I saw was lust. Being inside Harry was the most perfect feeling I could imagine. As a writer, it eludes me to be able to convey exactly what that sensation is. It is so much more than sex.

When it was over, we laid there content for the better part of an hour making inane conversation about who our favorite Beetles were. I had always been a Lenon fan myself, but it didn't surprise me that Harry would choose George. We both agreed that Ringo was an ass.

The only tense moment of the entire morning came when he asked if I would get him a washcloth to wipe off with. I offered to run him a bath, but he quickly refused. "It's not that I don't want to get a bath with you, or that I'm thankful that you would offer. It's just that I can do this kind of thing on my own at home. I hate being treated like some kind of helpless invalid."

"I never thought of you that way," I told him biting his ear playful.

He did allow me to carry him back downstairs. Silently, I cursed myself for not sticking to my idea of finding an accessible place. I never knew how much relevance that word would have to a disabled person's life until I met Harry. For him to be autonomous and live a normal life, there had to be certain accommodations made. Doorways had to be wider, thresholds had to be more even, counters lower, bars added to the bathroom, ramps in place of steps. The word accessible encompassed a lot of things. On our second "date," we had heard of a place in the city that was supposed to have amazing Thai food, but they didn't have a ramp. Harry had laughed the whole thing off, but I had felt…..what? Is guilty the right word? I guess it is in a way. I felt guilty that I took it for granted how easily I went about things. I didn't pity Harry. I knew him too well for that. I guess I respected him for not being a whining little shit about it. He didn't deny the fact that he had to do some things in a slightly different way, but he did them. I realized now that to be with Harry, I would have to be aware of the word "accessible" from then on.

I rode with him back to his place, and he fixed me with and impish grin. "Now about that bath?"

After a day that couldn't have gone any better, I even felt brave enough to go to the center with him. I "helped" Harry with his group up at the baseball field. Not really knowing the game and having no real interest, I hung back and just watched as he pitched underhand to his group of eight year olds. Everyone got a turn to bat. The children that needed help were never laughed at. Overall, it seemed that Harry's speech hadn't just been lip service about what they did here.

"You're turn!" an enthusiastic little girl told me holding the bat up.

"Oh, no," I said, but Harry was sitting there laughing at me and my pride demanded that I at least make contact with the ball.

I stood on the plate and mimicked the stance I had seen, but to my embarrassment, the children began to giggle.

"Who wants to show Severus how it's done?" Harry asked. Instantly, hands went up. "Joey."

Joey turned out to be a little boy with downs syndrome. He came running up to me with a big smile. "Like this," he told me showing me his best stance beside the plate.

"Joey, Severus is going to need someone to show him around the bases," Harry suggested from the mound. It then occurred to me exactly why I was going to bat. It made me want to kiss him. I, of course, wouldn't have thought of it, but this was his field of expertise.

I completely missed the two first balls that Harry pitched, and I was absolutely determined to hit the third. CRACK! The ball went out into the grass and I stood there for a moment amazed that I had actually hit it that far. "RUN!" Joey cried from behind me. I took off after the little boy, keeping my pace just a few steps behind him.

"Home run!" Harry declared. "You're a great teacher, Joey."

The boy grinned and wrapped himself around me. In all my life I have never been one for affection. Not really knowing how to react, I patted the boy's shoulder.

That night, as I lay on the couch with Harry. I realized that I didn't "think" that I loved him. I did love him. The idea shook me to the core. This was exactly what I had wanted my whole life, but been afraid of. I was only truly happy with Harry. I loved him more than anything, but I wasn't quite ready to say the words. Instead, I held him closer as he tried to explain to me the rules of baseball during a Diamondbacks game.


	12. Chapter 11: Happy Birthday

BEFORE YOU READ THIS Note that I am not trying to act like I know a lot about bipolar disorder. My take on Ginny is semi-based on something that went on with a friend of mine. I don't think that all bipolar people are crazy, but for drama purposes….you get the idea? On with the Fic!

Chapter 11: Happy Birthday

The next few weeks flew by at a rate I can only contribute to being happy. We were so lucky that neither of us had steady jobs at the moment, though Harry was already beginning to get the next years sports season ironed out for school. There was relatively little that kept us from spending the days together. The center was becoming less and less of a hindrance, in my opinion, and more of a shared joy. Oh, I still avoided the children like the plague, but I loved to watch Harry. Very few times did I ever really join in. I was content….We were content.

As much of Harry as I saw, I saw even less of Draco. The boy had plunged himself full throttle into learning all he could about the restaurant business. I never would have imagined that he would ever work so hard at something, but he was proving me wrong. He soaked up everything and anything that Ellen or Remy had to tell him or show him. My kitchen was now claimed by one blonde boy and his obsession. Remus had already paid for his enrollment for fall classes at the culinary school. Though Draco protested, he claimed that he was investing in his future head chef. I only half believed that statement myself. I saw the way those two looked at each other.

We had all been lulled into a routine by the time late July rolled around. About a week before the thirty-first, Remy clued me in on the fact that Harry was turning twenty-six. I never had put much into birthdays. My own were nothing more than markers of yet another year wasted, and I'd never really cared enough about anyone to make a fuss about their birthday. I toyed around with several ideas about what to get him, before I decided to ask for help.

I waited until I had the opportunity to corner Ron at the center. He looked at me skeptically for a moment when I scanned the area for eavesdroppers before saying anything. "I'm straight you know. If you've come to ask me to run off with you, I'm sorry but I won't," he joked.

Mumbling something foul under my breath, I closed his office door. "You wouldn't be my first choice. I wanted to ask you about what to do for Harry's birthday."

He nodded. "I figured that. Unfortunately, I'm not really the one to ask. Harry isn't exactly easy to shop for. Even Hermione gave up trying after a few years. We usually just buy him a gift certificate for the sporting goods store."

"Some best friend you are," I said sarcastically.

Ron simply smiled at me. "You obviously don't get Harry, do you?"

THAT caught my attention. "What do you mean I don't "get" him?"

"I mean that with Harry, he could care less if you got him anything. I remember when we first started hanging out together—we were eleven or so—and my mom made him a lopsided birthday cake and a sweater. Don't get me wrong, Harry loves Remus, and Siris….well, that's unusual, but he didn't have a mom anymore. I know he still has that God awful, green thing in the closet."

I stood there for a long moment. "In other words, do something that no one else ever has for him."

Ron nodded. "And, Severus, I do have to ask you a favor."

"What's that?" I was always weary about the word "favor." Somehow, it always ended badly.

"Be careful. Don't fuck things up with him."

"My name isn't Oliver Wood."

His eyes widened. "He told you about that?"

"Remy did. Was he wrong to?" I knew I had ventured on to shaky ground. But Ron said nothing, just made up some excuse about having something to do.

When I got back to my condo, I sank down on the couch and rubbed my temples. Being with someone certainly took a lot more consideration than I was used to giving. I was almost ready to call it quits and go to bed, but out of nowhere, the perfect plan began to formulate in my head. I called Remy and started to iron out the details.

Later that evening, Harry pulled in the drive. I could tell from the moment I saw him that something was most definitely wrong. When I met him with a kiss, he held up his cell phone to me. "Listen to this."

I took the thing and played the message. "I know you're avoiding me!" Ginny's voice shrieked. "Why are you doing this? Don't you know you're killing me Harry? I thought I could trust you! You're a liar! He's just going to leave you like Oliver did, and then you'll come back to me. You're mine, Harry. We're soul mates! That old fag doesn't know you like I do!" I heard a click.

"Enlightening," I said handing it back to him.

"But what should I do?" he asked running a hand though his messy black hair. "I don't want her hurting herself. What if she does something crazy?"

I could have told him that crazy is a relative term, and that if she hurt herself it was not his problem, but that wasn't Harry's style. The Weasleys were too much a part of his life for that. "Do you think you should talk to Arthur and Molly?"

"I have in the past. It doesn't do much besides upset Molly and put Ginny off on another fit."

I sighed. "I honestly don't know what to tell you. You're damned if you do and damned if you don't. The girl is a fucking nut job. If you think that you can't live with it anymore, don't. There comes a time when you just ignore her completely," I said plainly. In my way, I was being as compassionate as humanly possible.

The rest of the week went by without much else happening. He got a rash of hang up calls, but there was no more of her mad ranting. By the morning of Harry's birthday, I was determined that I would kill the little whore if she ruined my plans. Everything was in order, and she was my one and only worry.

I kicked Draco out of the house early that day, but he didn't seem to mind. I knew that he'd spend the night with Remus and leave us alone. Remus had been a godsend. Without him, I doubt I could have pulled it all off.

I lit the last of the candles and smiled as I heard his van pull up the drive.

"Severus, what's this?" he asked when he opened the door.

"Not sure. You'd best find out yourself," I told him.

He laughed and followed a path of jasmine scented candles out to the pool area. The entire yard was lit up, and more candles floated along with rose petals in the pool. Low music played in the background, nothing traditionally romantic, but it was his favorite. "The Moody Blues," he said with a laugh.

He moved on to a table set up in front of the gazebo. "I thought we would dine out here tonight," I told him as I kissed his neck.

The waiter named Neville from Zora's, came out with a bucket of ice and set it beside us. Harry laughed out loud as he picked up a can of beer. "So you're using my secrets against me."

I nodded. That night's fare consisted entirely of fast food and prepackaged junk food. Watching him devour a chocolate cupcake by licking out the cream first nearly forced me to forget everything else and carry him off to bed, but there was more to do before that. I retrieved an envelope and a box from the gazebo and handed them to him. "You're impossible to shop for, brat," I told him. He opened the envelope first, and his eyes widened. "That is what I know you want more than anything anyway."

"This is…are you sure?" he asked staring at the check.

"You put everything into that center. I thought that it was only fair that begin to help you as you have helped me."

He shook his head. "I don't understand."

"Open the box, Harry," I commanded holding back my laughter.

His hands tore through the paper as I watched with anticipation. Nestled inside were three smaller packages. The first one was an expensive watch that I had seen him admire at the jewelers. Exactly the kind of thing he would never buy himself. Next was little box holding Lakers seasons tickets. But it was the last one that really meant something. He stared at it with a sort of confusion. The book in his hands had a very plain cover with simply the title and my pen name on it. "Is this what you finished writing while you were here?"

"Yes, I had a single copy printed before it was edited. It's rough, but I think it's as it should be. Every word of it is about you. From the night I met you, you inspired me. In all my life, I've never met someone like you. One look from you and I would sit pounding away at the keys until I had thirty or forty pages. You are my muse, Harry," I told him.

Tears glistened in his eyes. Proud as he was, he whipped them away and kissed me. "Thank you," he said softly.

"No, thank you. Happy birthday, Harry."

His kisses became more passionate. I was almost swept away with my desire, but there was still one more thing. Neville had left a while ago and the fence was high around my home. "Take off your clothes, Harry."

"Here?" he asked incredulously.

I nodded and began to strip. Ducking back into the gazebo, I changed the CD. Avoiding the candles, I got into the pool and waited. I watched him doff his shirt with keen interest. It still amazed me how powerful those arms were. He lowered himself out of the chair to the poolside, and slipped in.

I captured him in my arms immediately. "Care to dance?"

"Oh yes," he breathed holding on to my shoulders.

I circled his waist with my hands and pulled him to where the water was almost to our shoulders. I began to move in a somewhat clumsy waltz. The water made it harder to move, but once I found a rhythm, we might as well have been on a ballroom floor. He fit in my arms so perfectly that it seemed that everything was as it ought to be. His head on my shoulder was the feeling that I had waited a lifetime for. "I love you, Harry," I said leaning into his ear.

"I love you, too." Tears were now openly flowing down his cheeks. "This is the most amazing night of my life. I've been dying to dance with you since the banquet. How did you know?"

I laughed a little. "You told me the night you drank too much."

"And here I though you just knew me that well."

I bristled at the comment a bit. "I would have thought of it."

Harry's eyes were glimmering in the candlelight. "Severus, I want you to take me. Here. Now."

I didn't need a second invitation. In an instant, I had him against the side. My hands covered him touching every inch. Our love was complete, and I was more than willing to seal it. I had told him I loved him, now I would show him with ever sigh and moan. Harry was my soul.


	13. Chapter 12: A Woman Scorned

AN It occurred to me that I haven't given you guys a proper cliffhanger yet. ;)….Oh and incase you haven't figured it out yet, this is a NON MAGIC AU.

Chapter 12: A Woman Scorned

We blinked and it was late August. Harry was now at the school during the day a lot, or going out to watch football camp. Though he was busy, we made time for each other in the evenings. Maybe I was jealous that something else had come up for him to dedicate more time, or maybe I was feeling a little bored. I can't be sure about that to be honest, but whatever it was, I was restless. My mind began to drift to distant shores. When we were lying on my couch, I found myself thinking of the beaches of the Riviera, of Saville, and of Beijing. Harry had his passions right there for him, but mine were slipping.

"Is there something wrong?" he asked late one night in bed.

"Nothing at all," I lied. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt him. "I was just thinking that we should go to Tahiti for Christmas."

"That would be nice, but the center has a charity program set up over the holidays." The goodness in him was becoming somewhat tedious to me. I wanted to scream at him for it. I wanted to tell him to fuck the center and his job.

"Another time then," I said quietly.

"Does it bother you that bad?" he asked kissing my neck.

"No." I got out of his bed and began to dress.

"Severus, would you just tell me what is bothering you?" Those bright green eyes were locked on me intensely.

I sank back down on the bed and pushed back my hair. "Are you ever selfish/"

He laughed at that. "Of course, I am human. What does that have to with anything?"

"Everything you do is for someone else. When was the last time you did something just for you? Christ, every time I look around you're at the center."

"You know how I feel about those kids. We're kind of understaffed. Maybe by next year, there will be enough people to take over most of the load."

I nodded. I wanted out of this conversation. Picking up the picture from his bedside table, I stared at the happy family. Harry must have been three or four. He was sitting on a bicycle with training wheels between his mother and father. Lily had her hair swept back and James was smiling. "Do you remember much about them?"

He shook his head. "Everything before the accident is a little jumbled for me. When I woke up, I was pretty much starting from scratch. Sometimes I dream about them, but I'm never sure if it's a real memory or if it just me imagining what they would be like. What is your family like?"

I sighed. "My father was an abusive drunk. He drank himself to death by the time I was twenty. My mother wasn't much better. Last I heard, she was still living in the house I grew up in. The difference between you and I is that I never had any illusions about my parents, and it seems that is all you have of yours."

"Was that an insult?" he demanded.

"I'm not sure. I am envious in a way."

Harry shook his head. "That's twisted."

I sneered. "That's only because your father didn't live long enough for you to hate him." In an instant, I wished I could take those words back, but it was too late.

His face flushed. "Remus told me you hated him. Are you still that vindictive? My father was a good man. He loved my mother and I. Why would I ever hate him?"

"Harry, I didn't mean that," I said trying to undo some of the hurt I saw in his eyes.

"Why would I ever hate him?" he repeated. "Do you hold a grudge that long, or is there something you know that I don't?"

"Perhaps a bit of both."

"Tell me."

At that moment, I truly did hate myself, but I told him anyway. "I was jealous of your father in school. He and Sirius were the perfect example of boys who had everything given to them. The pair sought out any and every chance to make someone else feel inferior that they could find. There was no line as to how far they would go. James was always cheating on Lily, and Sirius would help him bullshit his way out of it. One night I walked in on him fucking some whore. I told your mother, thought I admit part of it was because I wanted to get him in trouble. Sirius set out to get even. He and James followed me out to a ledge near the school. I wasn't supposed to be there, but it was my favorite spot. We fought. Just when they had finished beating me to a bloody pulp, Black drug me over to the ledge. He would have tossed me off, but your father stopped him. Though I don't think it was from the goodness of his heart. He knew that he'd go to jail."

Harry didn't say anything for a long time. "Please leave," he told me as he situated himself in his chair.

I did as he asked, and went out to my car. I regretted everything I had said that day, but I couldn't take it back.

Back at my condo, I found Remus and Draco bundled up on the couch watching some old movie. I must have looked upset, because Remus was instantly sitting up. "Everything alright?"

I nodded. "A minor disagreement," I said leaving them to their movie. Thankfully, Remus didn't follow me.

My head was pounding. More than anything, I was ashamed by the way I'd acted. Harry didn't need to know about the past. I never should have told him. He had held his parents memory sacred for so long, and I had no right to challenge it. Harry's words echoed back to me. _Do you hold a grudge that long, or is there something you know that I don't? _There was no denying the truth. I still carried the anger for James Potter with me, yet I loved Harry more than I had ever hated his father. It should be simple to forget, but it wasn't.

The next morning, I was still feeling the sting of our argument. My pride had wavered enough that I was ready to go back and apologize. Harry was at football camp for the day and wouldn't be home until later in the evening, I knew, but I decided to go out and meet him at his house.

Pulling up the drive, I saw a blue car that I didn't recognize. Perhaps Remus had finally taken his SUV to get the alignment done and had gotten a rental, I reasoned. The front door was open. My intuition told me something was wrong, but I just kept walking. "Remus?" I called from the entryway. There was no answer. And then I saw her.

A woman with long red hair stood by the pool. Her shoulders trembled as though she were crying. "Ginny, what are you doing here?" I asked gently.

She turned with fury in her eyes. "NO! I belong here. What are you doing here?"

"Calm down. I'm sure we can talk about this."

"There's no more time for that," she said softly.

I didn't see the gun until it was too late. BANG! BANG! I felt the bullets enter my body. The world seemed to be fading as I fell backward, but I did remember hearing one more shot. The last thing that I remember thinking is that I wished I had told Harry how sorry I was, and that I loved him. And then the world went black.


	14. Chapter 13: Selfish

AN The wait wasn't too bad, was it? Wow you guys are too cool. I love getting Reviews. They make want to write more. And YES I am evil.

Chapter 13: Selfish

Waking up in the hospital was one of the more frightening things I've had happen in my life. Staring up at the stark white ceiling and not remembering how I got there was certainly not a comforting moment. It took me a few minutes before the events of the evening before flashed before me. I groaned. A body beside me began to stir. Harry blinked a few times. "You're awake. Thank God."

I tried to sit up, but searing pain in my chest and right shoulder kept me down. "How bad is it?"

"You're lucky Ginny was a terrible shot. The fist bullet glanced of a rib and the second landed in your shoulder. They want to keep you for a few days, but they said that you'll be fine," he said with a trembling voice. Harry's eyes were bloodshot and he had dark circles under his eyes.

"There was a third shot," I said trying to ignore the pain.

"She…she shot herself in the head." A single tear slid down his cheek. "I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. Severus, I am so sorry. When I found you, I thought you were dead. Oh, God. I am so sorry."

I was helpless as he sobbed. Reaching over awkwardly with my left arm, I touched the back of his hand. "It wasn't your fault. Ginny was sick."

"If I could take the pain for you, I would. I never imagined that she'd hurt you. I was the one she was waiting for. She wrote a letter to her mother telling her that we were finally going to be together. If I had been there first…"

I shook my head. "If you had been there first, you may have died. Do you know what I was thinking when it happened?"

Harry wiped away his tears and shook his head.

"I was thinking that I love you, and that I wished I could have told you how sorry I was. You were right; I was being a vindictive asshole. Will you forgive me?"

"I already have. I love you so much. I don't know what I would have done if I would have lost you," he said caressing my cheek. With me in the bed and him in the chair, kissing was a near impossibility. Harry cleared his throat. "I'll go tell someone that you're awake."

A petite, Asian woman with short, graying hair came in moments after Harry had left. "Mr. Snape, welcome back to the living. I'm Dr. Wenn." She poked and prodded at me for a few minutes writing it all down on a clipboard. "You are an extremely lucky man."

I nodded. "Harry told me that she was a particularly bad assassin."

Her lips twitched slightly. "I was referring to the fact that your boyfriend loves you so much. He hasn't left the hospital in almost two days."

"I am lucky," I agreed. A lump formed in my throat. I hadn't noticed that Harry was still in a very rumpled set of work clothes.

When he came back in, two more familiar faces followed him. Draco and Remus both looked relieved. "I knew you wouldn't die," Draco said boldly.

I smiled wryly. "Of course not, I'm far too stubborn for that."

I was released from the hospital three days later. Harry and Remus both insisted I stay with them until I was healed. For the most part, I the pain in my chest subsided. I was forced to keep my arm in a sling and rest. Harry took time off of work to be with me for the first two days. True, I had never really seen Harry as anything less than independent, but being somewhat temporarily disabled myself made me understand how he could be so touch about being babied. It was quite annoying to have him taking care of me.

Harry attended Ginny's funeral alone. I wasn't going to mourn the woman who shot me, and I wasn't exactly up for it physically either. Remy, on the other hand, couldn't go because he had problems coming to terms with the fact that she intended to kill his godson. It was hard on Harry. The stress of the whole ordeal was written plainly across his face. Though none of the Weasleys held him accountable, he knew that the relationship he had with them would never be the same again. It seemed everyone felt themselves to blame for the death of Ginny. Arthur was a retired FBI agent, and the gun she'd killed herself had belonged to him. Molly felt that if she had been a better mother, Ginny would have been stronger. Ron thought that by taking attention away from his sister, he had been to blame. The list went on. Even I had my regrets. Her funeral seemed to drag these thoughts out into the fore front.

Days turned to weeks, and I was back up to speed again with only two fresh scars remaining from the wounds. I had hoped that things would go back to some semblance of normalcy. Remus and I had all but switched homes. He stayed most nights with Draco and I had all but moved in with Harry. But things had changed. He was distant and reserved. I was shocked beyond words when he told me that he had taken year's leave of absence from his job. Knowing how much coaching and being the director meant to him, I couldn't believe that he would give it up for anything. In my heart, I knew that he was pulling away from me. I would wake up alone, and realize that something was broken inside of him. All he had ever wanted was to make the people around him happy, protect them, but in his eyes he had failed.

I found Harry sitting facing the pool late one night. He hadn't even opened the door to the backyard since it happened. Though the area had been cleansed of all traces of that day, it was tainted. "I'm selling the house," he told me.

I nodded.

"I used to only think of how we shared our first kiss out there, and now all I see is you lying in a pool of your own blood. And Ginny… I just can't go out there anymore." He shuddered.

"What do you want to do, Harry? You can't give up your life because she chose to end hers."

"No, I can't," he agreed. "But what now? I hired a grief counselor for the kids at the center, but I think that maybe I'm having a harder time with this than they are. I just keep reliving it over and over again. Stupid, I know. I wasn't even the one who got shot."

"It's not stupid, Harry." I bent down and laid the palm of my hand on his cheek. "Come with me to Tahiti. We can work everything out far away from here. We can go anywhere. Name a place and we will go together. I only want to see you happy."

"Severus, if I asked you to do something, would you do it for me?" he asked looking away. I didn't like this one bit.

"I depends on what you want," I said cautiously.

"I want you to go to Tahiti."

"We can leave as soon as I make reservations," I told him hoping that I had misunderstood him.

"Go alone. You need to be free, and I need to get my head straight. When I look at you, I can't help but hate myself. I feel empty." Tears fell down his cheeks, and I knew how much it hurt his pride.

I would have rather been shot again than feel the absolute agony of hearing those words. "I love you, Harry. Do you think I can just walk away?"

"I love you too."

"Then why are you dumping me?"

"I'm not. I…I… I don't know what I want, or need."

In that moment, I think I understood. He was being selfish, and it was exactly what he needed to do. Though it hurt like hell, I had to be the selfless one for once. I loved him enough to leave. "I will go, but with one stipulation."

"What is that?"

I swallowed hard. "I want you to promise me that if you ever want me, or need anything, that you'll let me know."

He lost whatever was left of his composure, and I admit that mine was slipping. My eyes stung in a way they haven't since I was ten years old. "I promise," he whispered.

Two days later, all of my bags were packed and my plans were set. I left everything, including my car, for Draco to use as he please. The blonde was quick to tell me what a fucking moron I was. Remus, at least, seemed to understand a little better than his young lover did. He drove me to the airport in silence. I think he was half hoping that I would change my mind and tell him to dive me to Harry's new apartment. No matter how much I wanted to, I wouldn't do that. I gave him a quick hug, and thanked him for everything.

"You'll be back," he told me. In that instant, I could see Draco's influence on him.

"Perhaps I will be. Only if he wants me," I added.

Remus nodded. "He does. You take care, and for God's sake wear this."

He handed me a tube of sun block. I laughed, and told him I would.

From the moment, I got off of the plane, I hate this God forsaken island! I had rented a private villa with a pool, and beachfront property. It didn't take me long to discover that the only thing more vile than pool water was salt water. I spent most of my time staring at the pool remembering how Harry had felt in my arms that night. I would poor myself a drink and stare at the moonlit water. Dancing with Harry had been the first time in my life that I ever truly felt happy.

I had told Draco once that I had never been in love even though I wrote about it. Now, I truly understood what it was to be in love. Was I a better man for it? The answer to that is an unequivocal "yes." Harry changed my life. Now, I knew that I would wait for him until he was ready. It wasn't perfect, but it was love.

About a month in to my trip, I picked up my notebook and began typing. I wanted to share this. Why? I can't be entirely certain. If you've made it this far, I've no doubt that you are unfulfilled by the ending. In this case, all I ask is that you consider how it feels for me. Here I sit rambling on about the man that I love, knowing that I can't be with him. For once in my life, I will dare to be optimistic. I think that I will eventually get my happy ending. I'm vain enough to believe that he will contact me. When he does, rest assured that I will write about it. Harry has become my one and only muse. In my dreams, I am dancing with Harry. Until I live that dream again, I will wait.

The End?

Is this the end? Maybe, I do WANT to write a sequel using another POV. Harry's maybe, BUT I need a beta. If you are willing, email me, or put it in your review along with an email address. I do thank you all for reviewing. I honestly didn't think anyone would read this, so you definitely are my fav peps right now.


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